Coping with frustrations

The first time your toddler has a tantrum may be a surprise. You may be embarressed – especially if the tantrums occurs in public. Tantrums are your toddler’s way of expressing strong emotions like anger an frustration. Children may not grow out of tantrums without help. Parents can teach their children to understand and manage their behaviour and reactions, and to stay calm when something upsetting happens. This tip sheets gives some suggestions to help you manage tantrums and help you toddler learn to recognise and express their feelings in appropriate ways.

Tantrums may start at about 12 months of age and are common in 2 year-olds. Toddlers may appear to be demanding, stubborn and uncooperative. In fact, they are learning how to wait, follow instructions, get along with others and use words to say what they want. They are also learning to deal with strong emotions like anger and frustrations.

We all get frustrated. Parents can use these opportunities to help children learn to better handle their strong feelings. When children receive guidance and support, tantrums become less common in 3- and 4- years-olds. Children have fewer tantrums as they learn to express their emotions and want, and solve problems in others ways.

Tantrums in children can be as short as 20 sconds or go on and on. They can include:

• crying (without being physically hurt)
• screaming and yelling.
• stamping feet
• rolling around on the floor
• hurting themselves or others
• throwing or attemping to break things
• holding breath (this can be frightening but all children eventually take a gasp of air)

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